culture schlock

Years passed someone younger than they are now was driven by a more open schedule to write down their feelings regarding a popular singer of the day.

This individual was blinded - somewhat - by their admiration for this person (i.e., they liked her hair).  And dedicated a lot of their time into analysing various aspects of their mysterious 'celebrity' existence.  Discovering a lot of juicy detail, they decided to chronicle their discoveries in an online blog (which was the style of expression of the time before, of course, flying turnips captured the world's attention).

Before you now is the best bits, the most exciting discovers made through the endeavours of this exploration into the dangerous world of pop.

But what became of Slave4mimi?  Well, they went into hiding.  Very much over their crush, yet, I am led to believe, saddened by the end of their fun little turnip.  I mean, blog.

(for anyone taking notes, this blog originally ran from October 2005 to some time in very early January 2006.  I thank you.)

In a move that will no doubt cause disquiet in the International Community, R+B singing sensation, Mariah Carey has declared herself ruler of Muppet Town, a small, isolated community of retired puppets located in Universal Studios, Southwest Japan.
So far, very little has been established as to what exactly this means for the residents of Muppet Town, which was established in Japan in 1990, shortly after the death of the Muppet's spiritual leader.
Democratically elected co-Presidents, Bert and Ernie are believed to have stepped down without resistance.

"We wanted to avoid a bloody coup," admitted Bert yesterday, currently seeking sanctuary in Sydney, Australia where he has a holiday home. "She had very convincing breasts," fellow ex co-President Ernie has gone on the record as adding. "Her breasts were very convincing."

The former co-Presidents of Muppet Town, Bert and Ernie

According to sources who do not wish to be named, and so shall henceforth be known only as 'B' and 'E,' Mariah was very 'nice,' and 'quick,' to dispel any feelings that this sudden career move into dictatorship was little more than a 'flight of fancy.'
"She only wants things to be more pink," claims Source B. "Besides that I think Muppet Town will remain unchanged." But Source E was quick to add "and there's the statues, Bert. And the banners and the National Let Your Hair Go Naturally Curly Day." "Okay," admitted Source B. "But she sings so well. Let her have our town."

This photo was smuggled out of Muppettown yesterday by an unnecessarily brave photo hack.






President G.W. Bushti, Leader of the Free World, has attacked Ms. Carey in typically knee-jerk, American fashion (Americans are evil. Americans are evil) "Be in no doubt," he was quoted as saying at a seemingly unrelated press conference. "This is pure outrageousism. Mark my words, this sort of Diva-like behaviour will not go unpunished."


President G.W. Bushti at a Rebuplican Ragga Party with his new Supreme Justice, Tiny Pete.








Tory Blair, Leader of the English, would not be drawn into the debate at Prime Minister's Question Time, saying only that he 'had all her records.'
Less Mariah-friendly sources than 'B' and 'E' (which rumour has speculated may have been paid vast sums of money for their allegiance) have been less indifferent about his move by the world's sometimes biggest selling female artist.

Mariah Carey has already let it be known that she henceforth wishes to be addressed as Queen Diva Mimi the 1st.









One such dobber, close to Her Highness, claimed that Ms. Carey had said on several occasions that the Muppets were 'cute' and 'easily corruptible,' although the source also admitted she might very well have been talking about the Japanese.
The insider also said that power had gone to her head, and after becoming one of only a handful of performers to have a simultaneous No.1 and 2 on the U.S. Billboard Chart, the only logical step the singer felt she could take was small scale tyranny.
This is no official word, as yet, from Queen Diva Mimi the 1st's personal entourage.
Mariah Carey, 35, an American Citizen of Irish and Venezuelan heritage was believed to have been on a sight seeing tour of Muppet Town when she suddenly declared herself leader.